Y’all going oh my God DADDY over jeff goldblum need to admit that u know he’s just a fucking weirdo, he’s just Chad mads mikkelson, you need to face facts, you know in your HEART that for a date he’d take you to a bougie thrift store (oh yea, they EXIST) and buy you a sweater and then over dinner he’d tell you that the sweater is haunted and talk about some lame conspiracy theory he overheard whilst in the queue at 7/11 at 3am. Don’t let the fact he’s over 50 with a mysteriously still intact hairline fool you. He’s just chaotic neutral in nice knitwear.

You say that as though anything you described was a bad thing.