I always get really really down around this time of year because of my grandma’s death and it’s just hard I miss her so fucking much and she also never got to see me be successful she died before I started doing makeup and it just sucks because every time I do a makeup on my dad to turn him into some creature I think of how much she would have loved that and how she would make fun of him. She also would get magazines and write notes in them and it would have meant so much to give her the magazine a photo of my dad in a creature makeup I did was in she would have lost her mind seeing a picture of her son looking like an asshole in a magazine she would have loved it. I just really miss her and it doesn’t help that Bowie died at the same time and also of cancer. My grandma spent 3 days in the hospital before dying and the song Lazarus was a comfort to me especially after having to see her die right in front of me and then they day before her funeral the full blackstar album came out and I listened to it and cried while making the photoboards for the funeral. Then of course I didn’t sleep after her funeral and immediately heard the news on the 10th that Bowie died which was really just the worst thing to hear while already dealing with my grandmother’s death cause Bowie means so much to me I have his eyes tattooed to my fucking arm and then cancer took him too??? I fucking hate this week every year